Questioning Questions

Last night, I was so distracted by a lot of thoughts, hovering around my numb mind. It was probably because a 2 hours class I had this afternoon under a title Entrepreneurship. Since it was just the second class of the semester, we had nothing really much to do but listening to the lecturer. At the first class, my Entrepreneurship lecturer gave us a book to read titled Mindset! written by John Naisbitt. To be honest, I thought I will hate the book presuming that it’s going to be full of those clichés about the writer’s or somebody else’s story of his successful and profitable business which he firstly started small but somehow — well, with all the efforts he made — worked its way to be big. Evidently, I like the book because turned out it has nothing about what I suspected. It was very well-written and got me enthralled all the way through.

Regardless of the book, it’s all what the lecturer said during the class yesterday that had been bothering me the whole rest of the day since I walked out the class. He asked us those questions about what we actually dream of, what we want to do with the dream, and when will we start to really pursue it. Mostly questions about what we want for the future, our own future. Apparently, it became clear to me that it was truly a frightful question for myself which I’ve been trying to hide from for quite a long while. It is simply because I have no concrete answer to all those questions. Not for now, in this stage of my life which actually has been demanding for the answers as well. I sound so terrific right now, don’t I?

As much as I know that there are a lot of people around me who are in the same shoes about this, I also know that no matter how hard I try to avoid, those questions will always be there, getting bigger and profound. Yet, keeping them as a mystery is not the way out. It’s just, in the opposite, keeping you in an endless trap. To the moment I wrote this, I still wasn’t able to figure it out. Not even a question.

The only thing I came up to was maybe it’s not the answer that I should seek for first. I think I should courageously start asking myself the same questions, first.

August, 2015